I have to admit that there’s nothing I enjoy more than to give some woman the following message: ‘He ain’t worth it’ – when it’s called for.

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‘I really don’t know what I can do,’ some say. ‘How can I be towards my lover?’ (A married man with children). ‘I know for sure that he loves me.’

‘Yeah, honey,’ I say. ‘It looks like he does, but he still ain’t worth it’.

Some men love to ‘decide’ that they’re happy. They use their imperial power to enforce that. Disciplining yourself and your household into love is a great plan that some Emperors of the world love to realize. But it’s a bummer if the same Emperor actually loves another woman than the wifey. For when it comes down to deciding THAT – which one to have, and that in spite of the other decision to stay married and dance for the world – there’s ambivalence. And this ambivalence means loss of power. Our Emperor becomes harassed, as if the women in his life are out to get him. He becomes small in his pants. No scepter in his hand. ‘Maybe Cupid can help?’ Oy, but he’s blinded in this one. ‘Can I leave this to mercy?’ An immature man always will. Meanwhile he ‘decides’ to be happy. Worst-case scenario.

So, how do I know that such a man ain’t worth it? For once, there’s pride. Commanding the sun to shine on your regalia, when in fact it looks like you’re small and indecisive inside, is called pride not love. Second, if such a man was worth considering, then my woman would not be called to retreat her steps.

‘You don’t want to be with a man who is never sure.’

‘Yes, but how can I change what I feel inside?’

‘Go Zen.’

It is my general perception that women are stronger than men on many counts. But most have a hard time understanding where their strength resides. And what does it consist of? When love doesn’t work I often say:

‘Look at who you love. Does your man love the façade more than he loves what’s inside of his costume, or the sunny porch he presides over, and which he protects from prying eyes? If you can answer yes to that, then run. Run, run, run, and don’t look back. No one should waste their time with other people’s ambivalence. A phony sense of glory is a shame, not glory. Seek your truth and forget about entering a world that’s not yours. For god only knows, the kingdom you’re seeking, may well be a rotten one.’

Good luck to all who think they have a reason to hang on to the ones who aren’t worth it.


Note on the deck: Tarot de Marseille, Jean Noblet, 1650, as reconstructed by Jean-Claude Flornoy.

3 thoughts on “HE AIN’T WORTH IT

    1. Camelia Elias says:

      Thanks, Aidan. It’s easy to see why that is the case here. The Emperor is generally a good card, but taken together with the Lovers, it’s rather a poor one. It discloses what is really going on. Everyone can follow how the story unfolds but simply looking at how the elements on the cards interact, how symmetry works, and what rhymes with what. There’s always some interesting transformation at work.

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